My friend’s mother was just diagnosed w/ breast cancer. Any good ways or facts to console her?
Monday, June 22nd, 2009 at
7:42 pm
Alli asked:
She’s extremely upset, and i really don’t know enough about cancer to have anything positive to say. I know that i can’t be sure she’ll survive, so it really doesn’t do any good to say ‘i’m sure she’ll be fine’. I just need something to cheer her up a bit, or help her be optimistic at least.
She’s extremely upset, and i really don’t know enough about cancer to have anything positive to say. I know that i can’t be sure she’ll survive, so it really doesn’t do any good to say ‘i’m sure she’ll be fine’. I just need something to cheer her up a bit, or help her be optimistic at least.
Tagged with: Breast Cancer • Cheer
Filed under: Breast Cancer
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i would say just treat her just like how you were treating her before…some people who have illnesses do no want pity, just try to be there…i guess that’s more than enough
I had breast cancer 5 years ago at age 31, i did all the chemo Herceptin etc and now fingers X’d im free of disease, most women now will survive, get her to a good cancer hospital with the latest treatments, i was told as my cancer had spread a bit i would probably not be here but hey the treatments now are wonderful, if your in the UK get her to the Royal Marsden where they have clinical trials for new treatments, good luck to her and be positive
u will probably get more out of researching on the internet by googling or yahooing on breast cancer. Unfortunately there isnt much you can do or say to cancer patients. You can however be there for her when ever it is needed. First of all find out what grade her cancer is in. Maybe try and find someone that has gone through a similar situattion and survived living a happy life now.
breast cancer is not the end of the world.there are many ways control it.I think tha the worst tha t can happen is getting a mastectomy and after that you still have more beautifull years of life……..dont give up. life is hard and beautifull. bless you.
My very best friend just had a double mastectomy. She has the worse kind , fast spreading one. I tell her WE are going to fight this. When she talks negative , I come back with positive statements. WE CAN DO THIS !!! Prayer works wonders too. Today with the medicines they have, if they caught it early she has a very good chance. Good luck to you and her.
You’re asking how best to console your friend, aren’t you? (I think some answerers have misread your question and thought you were asking how to deal with the person with cancer.)
You’re very wise not to say ‘she’ll be fine’; when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, this is what most people said, and it’s really annoying – the doctors have no way of knowing this, so how can other people? Your friend’s mother will probably have done some research by now and know that she faces an uncertain future.
It’s difficult to console someone in her position, because there are no guarantees and it’s all very new to her. I think the most important thing is to be a good listener, to let her talk about it, to let her cry about it if she wants to. You don’t have to have all the answers, just be there for her.
I would caution against telling her to think positive or to urge her mother to be positive; it’s really difficult to do and there’s no evidence that it helps – I felt guilty, and therefore worse, because I just couldn’t feel as positive as people were telling me to be.
Her mother probably doesn’t know her cancer’s grade or stage yet (grade means how aggressive it is, stage means how advanced) and so she won’t yet know what treatment she faces. If breast cancer is diagnosed at an early stage the outlook can be very good.
I was diagnosed four and a half years ago with stage 3 grade 3 breast cancer – that’s advanced and aggressive. I had surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy and I’m currently fit and well with no sign of cancer at my last check up.
You may like to tell your friend about these two websites; they have loads of information and they have forums where both she and her mother can read posts and talk to people who are or have been in the same position as themselves. I don’t know how I would have got through breast cancer without internet support forums, and they are helpful for family of patients too.
My best wishes to your friend and her mother; and to you, you’re a good friend.
Do check out the breastcancer.org site. It is very imformative and there are many message boards for various aspects of BC. The women and men there are very well informed and very helpful if you have questions.
For instance your friend would be able to find out what to expect with various treatments, what things she might to to help her mother, etc.